i texted him a week ago, saying that i know he's not gonna want to text me again, but can at least me a reason why that between us has to end? his reply was nothing was wrong between us, only on his side. i felt a little relieved, as in he did reply my text, but deep down i can feel that things can never be like before we met. if you're having a problem and shut yourself away from everyone, will you the same for the one you like? i dont know..

We texted abit in Line for abit, and i asked if we can exchange our mobile numbers, which he did pass it to me, and now we chat in whatsapp..

He told me he wanted to got to Geylang before Ramadan ends, but theres no one to go with him. I offered myself to go on either Thurs or Sat, but agreed on Thursday, which was yesterday. Already agreed to meet at 6.30pm  at Pioneer mrt, but last min he texted that he cannot make it for some family reason, his grandma was warded. This wasnt the first time he cancelled on our meet up. The first was when we're supposed to go out for movie, he was the one initiated to watch movie together. Before that i told him i was feeling down, but didnt want to tell him the reason why. The reason i was feeling down was him lah. I cant be telling him right? So we agreed to watch movie on Friday, but on Thursday he texted that he couldnt make it because of his dad's birthday.

After cancelling 2 meetups, i dont know he's even serious in meeting me or im just very suay that things always happen when we wanna meet, or it's a sign that i should stop trying very hard to get close to him and move on. I suggested that since he cannot make it yesterday, how about today (Friday)? Stupid me. He said he cannot say anything first scared might cancel again, saying will update me again. But from the looks of it, most likely not going out. Probably gonna cook another reason not to got out.. Not that i dont believe what he told me, but all so coincident, right?

I've got a feeling that he's seeing someone, that was why he cancelled, or he has last min better plans. Why do i always fall for someone who dont even have feelings for me?? So difficult.. I just hope the feelings i have for him will quickly fade, no point liking someone who dont like you back.

If only i have someone i can talk to about this it would be much better than typing here, one way communication only. sigh..